Okkk I wasn’t going to blog about Grey's because it's really never as terrible as cross-eyed tranny Snausages of love aka the bachelor: on the wings of LOoooveee (you have to sing it like the song)... but tonight, 11 minutes in, I’m moved by the wowww...wtf reaction that has come over me.
It seems we have ourselves a flashback show, with no actual Grey’s flashbacks. The Office did this a few weeks ago and while super disappointing after weeks off, at least featured some of my favorite Jim and Pam momentz). Hot dayummmm.
But back to Grey’s…here we have some lecture bullshit, now featuring Callie O’Malley (aka Caliopie Torres) faking being nervous and dropping her note cards and a bogus Richard and Ellis Grey in the 70's being muchhh hotter than their present (or not, for dead ellis) looks would have suggested.
I guess a few years ago, Callie O’Malley wore more eye liner? Ok, fine. I guess that’s fair but that shit is weak. Ellis Grey was not a sexy(ish) blonde girl in the 1970's. I’m sorry, but I’m not buying it. They look nothing alike. I will not play dumb while they play "our lips our sealed" in the background- wrong decade people!
So, Lexie grey as a blonde, not so bad. "Mandy" Bailey with the pink glasses and braids? SEXAY. Who is this cunty blonde doctor from the early 90's yelling at her? Stupiddd bitch don’t know who she's messing with. But seriously every time they flash to this 70's shit I’m getting angry. OHHH excuse me, they’re not even in the 70's- they’re in 1982?! This just got even more ridiculous. You don’t get a NEW FACE when you age stupid writers, you just get wrinkles. Jeezus. This is officially and already- at 18 minutes in- retarded. UGH. Here goes another 42 minutes of ma lyf down the drain...
OK bla bla.. no AIDS in 1982, bla bla. Clearly, Pedro from The Real World has not waltzed into the living rooms of America just yet. (Apparently this was not until the 90’s). What a shame. Pedro was a fox and I recall thinking that at the ripe old age of 9, which means its 100000% true. RIP Pedro :(
Anywayyy back to the show, I’m still watching, it still sucks. We have Bailey in pink glasses with the woman I believe to be the mother from the cinematic masterpiece "It Takes Two" starring Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen (I will imdb this shit on the commercial break).
Callie O'Malley is still pretending to be nervous, and I’m still not even close to loving it. Give me some flashbacks with Burke and George and even my most hated- Izzay. Hell at this point I would accept that scary lezbot Erika Hahn! She scared me on “Weeds” when she tried to take out Nancy Botwin, I would at least like to see her bitchface in these flashbacks. UGH.
OK, so the Indian guy with the Gumby legs wants to walk and flashback Callie O’Malley with the extra eyeliner is feelin itttttt. More to come on that noise in a bit. More shitty 1982 flashbacks are coming. Flashback baby Meredith looks like Suri Cruise on an acid trip and Meredith’s alchie dad Thatcher looks like he is wearing a Halloween costume. Oooh "GRID" guy is back. Looks like someone has been playing with African monkeys from OUTBREAK or hanging with dudes in an intimate way and contracted the HIV (pronounced hiv, not h.i.v). Sidenote, wasn’t Patrick Dempsey the original carrier in Outbreak, getting all those people sick on the plane?! *Update* He was!!! And his name was Jimbo haha. DISGUSTING.
*Commercial Break*
The Bachelor "Women Tell All" is going to be DICEYYYY. Rozlyn’s back and is gon' get it! She had her butt in the air (says the southern single mom whose name I’ve forgotten). Oh hale yeah. Will anyone bring up mousey's divorce sob-story, or Snausage's skanky past (she dated motherf'in HOWIE from the Backstreet Boys)
Anyway back to the show, more boring shit. Ellis and Richard are a woman and a black man treating a guy with AIDS in 1982. How scandalous. Karev and Callie O’Malley are now talking on stage together about this pseudo flashbackcrap. Mizz Mandy's up there yapping about something bla bla... hit the books...is this a public service announcement? This is weeeeakkk sauce, pink glasses Mandy B! Oh god. She’s crying. Joe the bartender still works at Joe's in flashback world and is looking exactly the same but with longer hair? this is really insulting ma intelligence. (ps remember when he was "my big fat obnoxious fiancee"? no? just me?)
*so the bitchy blonde flashback doctor is not who I thought she was. Her name is Missi Pyle (to the left, to the left), which is terrible. I now care even less! Massive apologies to this bitch on the right, Elaine Hendrix, who at least had the privilege of working with a pre-crackhead Lindsay Lohan. Lucky lady!!OK Sowwy. This show just sucks. We're being forced to watch baby Miranda Bailey in pink glasses and bad hair yell just like she does now. Don’t care. Call me when its over....
OK ew. The Karev and Callie sex shit? Gross. Can we go over who this bitch has banged? by my count I have Sloane, George, Erica, Arizona, and apparently Karev. Anyone I’m missing? SKANK.
Ellis makes Richard start drinking. I knew she was a home wrecking huss from the get go, but now we know fo sho, she’s a life ruiner, via the sauce. And godddd I still do not care. Ughhhhh another hour of my life is gone cuz of this crap. Seriously. That’s it. That’s all they gave. Craptasticccc! Peazeout!
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