below is an actual photo of me and ma man chillin on the couch. you don't dress like this on the regular? You don't? Lame.
so i love sex and the city as much as the next broad and i am not shy about it. it makes me cringe, but i am drawn to this shit, so i shamelessly bribed my sister and a friend to see it with me with some free movie passes i had. i liked it, obvs, but there are some things that need to be said.
#1. The clothes...
are. retarded. i could not check my brain at the door and accept that this is how people dress. like i live in the city for which this movie is named, and i have never witnessed such audacious fuckery. i wonder if the people who live in other places think this is what new york city is really like? for 99% of the movie the satc hoes are wearing ridiculously expensive and impractical outfits and shoes such as fug-ass brown wool blazers over ball gowns in abu dhabi, a $50,000 dior/zac posen getup to a goddamn spice market, and this shit, which honestly i can't even find the words to describe. poor cynthia nixon must have really pissed off someone in the wardrobe departmentt. but as avid watchers of the series and the first movie, none of this should be surprising, i'm just sharing cuz i think it proves patricia fields has officially gone batshit insane. oh yeah, and apparently the wardrobe budget was $10 million dollars which is cool cuz our country's economy is doing really awesome and there are no sick children or starving people in africa that could have used that cashflow.
#2. The puns...
hurt my head. i am writing on a blog read by like 3 of my friends and some people are getting paid big bucks to write these gems:
- carrie sees the ridiculous tent set up for them after their camel rides and calls it "Bedouin bath and beyond"
-samantha calls some hot guy in the desert "Lawrence of my labia."
-ladies in burkas are called "the Real Housewives of Abu Dhabi"
-carrie calls charlottes worries over the nanny's boobs "the jude law" (which actually was kind of funny)
-upon arriving at their hotel carrie actually says "i don't think we're in kansas anymore". would anyone actually be friends with this person in real life?
-charlotte gets a camel toe while riding on a camel. methinks the same person who is out to get cynthia nixon is out to get kristin davis as well, since they had her shitting her pants in the first movie and now they give her 12 year old boy jokes.
#3. The life lessons...
the movie is just chock full of the good shit! for example:
-it's ok to be wildly inappropriate and shake your bubbies all up in another lady's husband's face if you're a lesbian! there's a plotline about charlotte's hot nanny not wearing a bra and shaking her boobs all over the place, making charlotte scared harry goldenblatt's gonna cheat with her hot irish ass. after wasting much of the movie with charlotte sulking about this and trying to get service on her iphone in the desert, they quickly make note at the end that the nanny is a lesbo so like, problem solved right?! that won't turn harry on at all! NEAT!
-cheating=diamonds! why didn't anyone tell me this before! after carrie tells big she kissed aiden (both of whom look hot btwz) he doesn't pick her up at the airport and you're like oh goddd not this shit again! but then he comes home and "forces" her to wear a gigantic black diamond so she won't forget she's married. so, you're welcome little girls of america, now you know the tricks!
-oh and liza minelli has better legs than you ever will. SORRY!
so, yeah go see it. i probs will, again. then buy it when it comes out on dvd. UGH sometimes i hate maself! ta-ta
