Guest Bloggin at the Grammyz!! Bring on the FUG!!!

Hello people of da world!  Tonight, I handed over the reigns of betchiness to my best friend and partner in cattitude, Princess WingyMinaj!  You may recall she was supposed to make her guest blogging debut for the golden globes, but her fianceetard sat on her computer and ruined it all!!! But now she's back and we got some shit to say!  Polite claps for Mizz Wingy's debut!!LEZGO!

Lady Blaga fans! My forgiving Lady friend has given me a second shot for guest blogging a red carpet.  If you'll remember, i had a mishap last time at the golden globes.  But now im back for the grammys!

So I come in to Miley Cyrus... Holy side boob tattoo young Miley. Her handlers need to HANDLE HER.  Shes wearing a glittery animal print number that is all wrong.  Poor girl doesn't stand a chance with a dad like Billy Ray Cyrus.  

 

homegirl's got a point

Keith urban and nicole kidman show up and keith just said congrats to Seacrest. Did he spill the beans on something?? I google "Ryan seacrest engaged" but found nothing. I guess ill have to stay tuned on that one.  (Wings don't worry, trolls can't get married)

On to Katy Perry, Russell brand, and grandma Perry. Katy Perry is wearing wings, but it's not even that weird. They all match in Armani and rhinestones.  Russell brand is holding granny's hand, what a sweet grandson-in-law! (Very Toddlike! Wingy failed to mentioned GrannyPerry was rocking a very stylish bedazzled pimp cane, but I cannot find a pic of.  I will be getting one for her for her bday, shhh don't tell)

 

Rihanna popped in.  Shes wearing a giant pipe cleaner...not a fan. I think I can see her coochicoochi and I don't appreciate it. Seacrest is practically drooling over her! Pull yourself together! Ronald McDonald hair and this fugtastic pipecleaner creation gets a big HALE NAW from the wingyminaj and lady blaga audience.  Boooooo!!!!

 

Now HOLD UP.  Where's the glamour? Even Lea Michele is disappointing me! She looks like she needs to wash her hair! dirty betch! And why is Kim kardashi-hoe there? I do love the kardashians but I don't get why she attends these award shows. (Survey says: FAMEWHORE!)

Oh shiiiiiiiit, nikki minaj has arrived. My namesake.  Lady Blaga and I disagree about nikki and I'm sad to say she just won a point in the disagreement. Shes just crazy right now in a cheetah get up and blonde Afro.  Wrong. All kindsa wrong. But also FIERCE.  in a fucked up bride of frankenstein sorta way.  meowz 

Finally someone good my gahd!  Selena Gomez! Such a young hottie! The others (cough, cough, MILEY, Ke$ha, WILLOW FUCKING SMITH) need to take some hints from her on how to put yourself together.  Justin Beiber's maybe-cougar lady is TWERKIN IT.

One more thing- can we talk about skinny jennifer hudson is now? this is what she used to look like:

 

And this is her now:

 i mean REALLY.  does weight watchers work that well? she's like  a black olson twin or some shit. do i smell a star joneesque scandal up in here? a lil gastric bypassin n shit?! i'm just sayin. hot dayum.

 

Now that the wingster has dished the dirt on the red carpet, i would just like to say a few parting words after rummaging through some red carpet slideshows and the theme is a resounding WTFZ!  It's all WHY THEY WEARIN THAT/WHO THE HELL IS THAT/WHAT YEAR IS IT ANYWAY!  Exhibits a b c d e f g etc. to follow....

 um, this here is justin guarini.  you know the RUNNER UP of american idol from, oh i don't know EIGHT YEARS AGO.  who did he have to blow to get a ticket in there? jeez.

and um monica? singer of the 1998 hit the boy is mine with brandy.  speaking of which, where is she is monica and j.guarz got an invite? how REWD.

Speaking of monica and brandy, how could we forget MYA.  actually how could you NOT forget her ass?  homegirl is FORGETTABLE. she sang a song with sysco and somehow got invited to be on the lady marmalade song with xtina and lil kim and pink in 2001.  yes thats correct, her last semi relevant moment was ten years ago. babammmm!

Now we can just move on to some precious flowers, who I do not know but must comment on cuz the betchiness in my icy heart cannot be contained!! I give you.. this bitch!!

 who is she?? why is her forehead attacking the rest of her face like that?? it's really rude to be hogging so much of the spotlight like that.  i mean i presume she's a talented musician and this should be her night, but instead the shining star is that megahead she's rockin!  whoever she is she will always play second fiddle to THAT thing. 

OK so there's also this lady.  there's nothing to say about her.  she is a delicate flower of understated elegance, and her classiness cannot be put in to words.  just try to soak in her ravishing beauty.

And that's it!  We both refuse to watch the actual shoe except for when bruno mars comes on and cee-lo (spoiler alert he looked like a giant shiny peacock and performed F*CK YOU with a bunch of technicolor muppets and a chiuahaha puppet.  it was what i imagine an acid trip is like.  a good one.

oh and as usual i have to say i got these pics from various "real" websites and am not taking credit for them so don't sue me perez and and harvey levin, i'm just a poor cat tryina keep it real!!

GOODNIGHT N GOODLUCK N GOODJOB MY WINGYMINAJ! THE OSCARS ARE JUST AROUND ZE CORNER!!!!!!!!!!!!! TA TA from us and SELENITAGOMEZZZZ