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| Suri has been dethroned |
Do you hear that sound? No, not the sound of angels blowing their little trumpets with joy cuz Hov and B's baby has graced the earth with her presence. Not the sound of the million dollar mini van pulling up to the hospital's back entrance. Not even the sound of Kanye bustin' up in the delivery room to declare this the best baby OF ALL TIME!
It's the sound of Suri Cruise crying as she loses her (up until now) title of most indulged and ridiculous celebrity spawn in the universe. According to her blog, Suri's Burn Book, she has been fearing this day for months and now it has finally arrived.
If you need her she will be hiding in daddy's crawl space watching paparazzi footage of her glory days on repeat while eating a frozen HAUTE chocolate made by her personal slave chef (if you thought she'd be having a pint of ben and jerry's- how dare you? suri doesn't eat what you lowly humans do, duh) wrapped in her blankeys made of unicorn fur with diamond encrusted trim.
So as Suri mourns her days as queen baby betch, welcome Beyonce and Jay's baby to the world. Her name is Blue Ivy Carter and when I said welcome her, I meant it cuz she already has more money than you and is going to buy your local professional sports team before her first CHANEL diaper gets changed by one of her personal assistants.
Y'all bow down now. Princess Carter's in the building!PS- Blue Ivy just won her first grammy and has been nominated for an oscar, emmy and a nobel peace prize. Suckers.
